someday i'll get there

Les Miserables Obsessed!!

2012-01-18T09:28:00.004-05:00

My typical MO after seeing a Broadway musical typically looks like this: purchasing (if I don't already own it) the soundtrack and listening to it on constant loop for at least a week..maybe longer. The best part about Les Mis...I found the 10th Anniversary concert on YouTube...there are 11 consecutive videos, each 14:22 minutes long which encompasses the entire show...woohoo!! Note, it IS a concert, so they are not acting out the parts, but they are in costume and it's still fabulous...you know, especially if you can't travel w/them on tour to see it repeatedly...this is the next best thing.

The tour show was awesome...while I loved it all, I must say that my favorite character/actor was Javert (Andrew Varela)...not only is he easy on the eyes, he is an amazing singer...turns out he has also performed as Jean ValJean (the lead in LesMis) as well as the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera.

Swoon!!!

Here is a video of Andrew singing "Stars" on a news show...start the video at 3:50 for just the song:

And here are a couple of my favorite videos from the 10th Anniversary concert...

Philip Quast as Javert --- he is the ORIGINAL Javert and absolutely amazing!!

Start at 1:22 where Colm Wilkinson (Original Jean ValJean) begins singing "BRING HIM HOME"....LOVE this song!!

Enjoy!!

Project Life 2012

2012-01-16T15:18:00.002-05:00

Only two weeks in and I'm absolutely LOVING this Project Life goodness. I am even "caught up" (for now) as I completed weeks 1 & 2 last night...here's my proof:

Intro Page

Week One - Page 1

Week One - Page 2 (gotta luv butt crack!)

Week Two - Page 1

Week Two - Page 2

I'm ready for some variation in the page protectors. When I purchased everything, only two different styles were available (Designs B & F) and I'm DYING for some Design A pages!! I may even delay my week 3 completion to see if they show up on Amazon...although I don't think it will be until February and then I'll have to compete with the other bazillion women out there waiting on them!!

randomness

2012-01-13T11:38:00.001-05:00

Nothing like a good 'ol dose of randomness on a Friday!!

*we got snow last night

*a VERY light dusting

*we also got a 1 hour delayed start

*being from Michigan, that makes me laugh...but i love it so!

*bailed on going to the Y last night - due to nasty weather.

*bummed I missed Yoga as a result.

*will try again next Thursday.

*tonight we are going to see Les Miserables

*mom is watching E...hoping she can get out of her neighborhood

*she texted me earlier to say the streets are ice. yikes!

*our high temp today will be 34. not good.

*this is when having a sitter IN MY neighborhood would be good.

*i'm worried about tonight.

*my Project Life goods arrived last night

*I am working on finishing week one pages.

*hoping to paint the laundry room this weekend.

*happy I have 3 days to do that!

*loving that I can send files electronically over to Kinko's for color printing. on cardstock.
*and I can swing by on my way home to pick them up.

*will be starting a new book this weekend - The Girl in the Blue Beret.

*hope you have a good weekend. :)

I Want Wednesday

2012-01-11T12:58:00.000-05:00

I Want: this Monster cable for my iPod to play in my car. Oh and yes I do already have one, but I recently received a brand new iPod Nano courtesy of Apple and their recall on their VERY VERY old Nanos...turns out the current cable doesn't charge the new iPod, but this V2.0 does! Got in my car this a.m. to discover a DEAD iPod. Sad.

I Want: this Spanish Magnetic Poetry...for my work office...really bad. I have a big huge EMPTY wall that I want to cover with magnetic paint. The wall is very close to where kiddos sit while in my office, which would be neat for them to sorta dabble with while we are chatting. Now to work on the facilities crew and that magnetic paint.

I Want: these adorable SmartWool socks!! I stumbled upon them in December but could not justify the crazy price (for 1 pair!)...but I still want them. Sadly I will probably never have them. :(

I Want: this adorable NYC Empire State Building Fossil charm for my charm bracelet. Too cute!! I looked for it @ the Fossil store in Frisco, TX...but had ZERO luck. They were fresh out of charms period!

I (still) Want: these Detroit Tiger Sunglasses, solely for running outdoor races....which now that the price has dropped to a whopping $9...I just might get them.

Ten on Tuesday

2012-01-10T08:13:00.001-05:00

1. I'm not as "sad" today as I was yesterday.

2. Going to see Les Miserables on Friday and I.cannot.wait!!

3. Hitting the gym today...and while I need to, I'm still sorta dreading it.

4. Ethan was a champ during our morning routine today. Yay!

5. My Project Life kit is currently in Toledo, OH...hurry!!

6. A little goal I set for 2012 is to do small things to make my house a bit more homey/cozy.

7. Hoping to paint the laundry room this weekend...it's a 3 day weekend!

8. I'm currently obsessing over GLEE music.

9. I have not yet watched last weeks Grey's or PP episodes. Need to!

10. Another little goal: I'm tracking my scrapbooking spending this year...to hopefully keep it in check. Also pledging to use from my stash for PL and OLW projects.

currently

2012-01-09T08:40:00.000-05:00

listening to: the noise of the space heater in my office.

thinking: about how badly I wish I were a SAHM.

wishing: I never had to go back to work.

feeling: a little sad today...the whole work/mom thing is hitting me hard today. didn't help when Ethan said "I just wanna stay home today!" as I was trying to get him ready for school. :(

wanting: a million dollars...or heck, I'd settle for a couple snow days at this point...too bad the next 10 days don't look like they're bringing snow.

reading: I Gave My Heart to Know This by Ellen Baker and it's really pretty good!!

wearing: black pants, gray shirt & gray cardigan.

hoping: that this week goes by quickly.

enjoying: the itty bitty teeny amount of "free" time I get each day..meaning time with E or time to scrapbook/read.

needing: a change.

weather: 40-50s, rainy & gloomy.

wondering: why.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-06T10:18:00.000-05:00

-wow, so I REALLY need to change my blog header!

-It's 2012 and for me, a time to BEGIN a lot of *things*...like some new scrapbook projects, a better money saving plan, finally learn yoga & hopefully get into a regular routine with it and those are just a few things.

~Speaking of the word BEGIN....I'm really excited about Ali Edward's One Little Word project she does every year. In the past, I've seen and heard about it, but never felt a strong pull to participate, although it peaked my interest somewhat. Finally, this year, my word CAME TO ME...yes, it popped into my head and really seems to fit me for where I am right now and so, with that, I am signed up and ready to begin this OLW 2012 project.

~Also crafting related, I remain "on the fence" with my participation in the Project Life scrapbooking project. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to do it...I keep thinking of how completely awesome it would be at the end of this year to see that album full and to look through it with Ethan then and many years later and to remember the "little things" we did. Now while I love that whole idea, where I get hung up on "pulling the trigger" is the reality of being able to document *something* everyday or at least 3-4 days EVERY week. I don't want to fork out the cash for the supplies and then fall flat on my face with follow through. On another note, I often am left feeling frustrated when I cannot get in just a few minutes to scrapbook here and there. Crops NEVER happen anymore for me as O is ALWAYS working 6 days a week now so getting away on a Saturday isn't feasible and the LSS is closed on Sunday. And so I remain...for now...on the fence...but I completely realize that I need to make a decision STAT.

~Please note that the two previous bullet points work completely against my "better money saving plan". *sigh*

~Quick Christmas recap: we went to TX for Christmas. It was fun, but also stressful. Apparently, my normally easy-going child didn't seem to do well with excessive excitement, a new house (my aunt's), little to no ROUTINE and did I mention holiday season excitement? Add some chocolate in there too. His less than stellar behavior stressed me a bit...but I guess such is life with an almost-4-year-old. I'm TOTALLY on board with the whole "3 is worse than 2" thing for kiddos...we did not have "terrible twos" at all...or if we did, it was not nearly as awful as 3 has been.

~On a brighter note, E is a fantastic ROAD traveler...did fantastic on the 13ish hour drive to TX. He's a rockstar!! He and I flew back...two flights...stopping in Charlotte...after our not so lovely behavior IN Texas...I was crazy nervous about the flights, but thankfully he did quite well. His only "dark" moment occurred when we landed in Charlotte & he wanted OFF the plan STAT...too bad we were in row 23!! He got a bit fiesty and that didn't get better until we walked 1/2 of the airport, finally stopping in a Starbucks (for my sanity) where he found a fantastically huge fruit cup he wanted...which I happily purchased for him and while made him once again a happy camper. Thank God!! He waited peacefully for both of our flights, which surprised me and I am eternally grateful to Steve Jobs (RIP) and his lovely iPad for making air travel with E a WHOLE LOT more tolerable than it would have been without that fantastic device. :) Oh and the best part, E slept on the flight from Charlotte to Knoxville. Hooray!!

~And now the holiday break is over (sad!) and I'm on my 2nd day back at work....here we go....how many days 'til Summer? Or heck, at least the next long weekend? :)

my fave books of 2011

2011-12-13T11:00:00.007-05:00

As the year comes to an end, I thought I would share a few books with you that I have read in 2011 and absolutely LOVED!! Maybe you will find that you want to read one (or more) of them, or even purchase one as a holiday gift for someone.

I am a big fan of goodreads.com and this year I noticed they had a "reading challenge" that you could set for yourself. Back in January, I set it at 50 books. As my first year OUT of graduate school and finally free to read for fun, I thought this would be a fantastic challenge. Towards the end of the year and closing in on 50 books, I bumped my challenge up to 55 and it looks like I will just make that. I'm at 53 right now.

What I also love about the site is it's organizational capabilities...you can create your own bookshelves to sort your books in a way that suits you. Lovely!

As for my 2011 favorites:

My absolute most favorite book of 2011...The Soldier's Wife. I couldn't get enough of this story, it was one of those that makes you want to neglect all other necessary duties in your life i.e.work, shower, dishes, cooking etc...you get the point. It was that good. Setting: WWII, Guernsey occupation.

Unbroken was another book I plowed through...all 400+ pages of it. It was a heart-breaking history lesson wrapped up in a wonderfully written story about Louis Zamperini's life during WWII. Amazing.

The Scent of Rain & Lightning was one of those books that made me sad once I was done with it...not that the story was necessarily sad, although some parts were, it was more that my "relationship" with these characters would no longer exist. Loved this book!!

I'm not exactly sure how I was led to Saving CeeCee Honeycutt, but I'm really glad that it happened. This was such a heart warming story...once you get through the first chapter or two...and BONUS---it's set in Savannah, GA!!! I would love to see this made into a movie. Author, Beth Hoffman is such a sweet woman too...who I've communicated with via Twitter, and I anxiously await her next book, which I believe comes out in 2012.

I had wanted to read Secret Daughter so badly that after many months of waiting and hoping it would come to my local library in the form of an e-book, I finally had to "overlook" my slight phobia of REAL library books and check this one out. And it was worth it. A great international story with a very realistic story line for today's world.

Another book I waited and waited to read electronically from my library, but finally accepted that it was just not going to happen, so I also checked Still Alice out from my public library in real book form. A story about a woman who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's and how it affects her very successful professional life and her family. We hear so much about Alzheimer's these days, I felt I needed to read this one. I will also be reading Genova's other book "Left Neglected" in the near future.

25 books of Christmas

2011-12-09T11:32:00.000-05:00

My December Daily layout about "25 books of Christmas"

After hearing about this on a couple different blogs, I decided that we absolutely HAD to do this in our house too...25 Books of Christmas. It works just like an Advent calendar really. Each night, E will open up a wrapped book (Christmas themed) and we will read it at bedtime. We have been having a great time with this so far. He really looks forward to it and it is helping to get us out of the rut of reading the same books over and over again.

December has been fantastic so far. In the mornings, we have our Lego City Advent calendar, which is helping tremendously in getting E out of the bed...even if he does run right back to it and hide under the covers. In the evenings, we have our books. It's great.

The only hang up...um, we don't have 25 Christmas-themed books...but we will soon. We started with about 8-10. I purchased about 5-6 used on Amazon for super cheap, I'm talking .01, so essentially they cost me $4.00 w/shipping. Love!! I did splurge on a couple new ones that I knew we would love (Merry Christmas, Splat; A Pirates Night Before Christmas). I figure this is a great investment as we'll do this every year for quite a few years. Yay!

So far, we have read:

Mickey's Clubhouse Christmas

Olive, the Other Reindeer

Biscuit's Pet & Play Christmas

Bear Stays up for Christmas

Mortimer's Christmas Manger

Russell's Christmas Magic

The Night Before the Night Before Christmas

I'm taking suggestions for any "must-read" Christmas books you think would be great additions to this project...I'm pretty sure I'm still short of 25. :)

books!! books!! books!!

2011-12-08T10:28:00.002-05:00

So many books. So little time.

I just wanted to share a few books with you that I am DYING to read...since getting my Nook, I've been getting my e-books through my local library (free!!) which is absolutely wonderful. The only downfall...they don't have EVERYTHING...in particular, they are no longer going to have anything published my Harper Collins because they have put strict rules on the number of times an e-book can be circulated which forces the library to buy multiple copies...all that to say, I'll have to buy a couple books from B&N because I can wait no longer! Luckily, with all those hotel points O has been racking up, he got me a gift card to B&N. I've been anxiously checking the mailbox every day!! Hee!!

The Golden Hour by Margaret Wurtele

This one has been on my "to-read" list for while!!

This one will be published in early 2012...it sounds sooo good!!


Another one I've been waiting on for a while...this might be my next or 2nd next book to read!!

And you may have noticed, that yes, they are all books which take place during the WWII era...which I am completely obsessed with. Who knew?!? I sure wasn't obsessed with it back in high school.

I'm hoping the holidays provide ample reading time...I know the 14 hour car ride to TX will...as long as E is entertained of course. Really hoping I can check a few of these off my list before the end of the year. And I only have 3 books left to read to meet my Goodreads challenge (and get my "badge")...Hooray!!!

a few random thoughts

2011-12-06T18:35:00.000-05:00

*i'm hardly motivated to post these days as it seems i'm posting purely for myself...well, I guess that's reason enough. I'm recording my thoughts/experiences, right?

*I'm still trying to cram too many things into one day: work, ymca, scrapbooking, reading, bedtime w/Ethan...there just isn't enough time for it all. one of these days I'll realize that.

*I was home "sick" today...I actually feel fine, but I have next to NO voice. that doesn't work so well being a school counselor. i came home early on Monday and refrained from talking as much as possible both then and today. It works well until I pick up E. :) hopefully tomorrow things are better as I have 5 classes to teach. and 3 more on Thursday and 3 more on Friday. (yikes!!!)

*only 9.5 work days left until Christmas break. Woohoo!!

*E and I are Texas-bound for Christmas this year and I could not be more excited. I cannot wait. Christmas is SO much better w/ALL of the family. we are driving out with mom and her husband and then flying back so we can stay in TX longer.

*Ethan will have his first experience ice skating while there...so excited for that.

*Also extra excited for this Christmas with Ethan as I think this is a perfect age to truly enjoy the holiday. Last year, he totally "got" the idea of Christmas, but this year, even more. We are doing our very first Advent Calendar (Lego City) and it's so enjoyable to watch him open the "windows" every morning.

*there are just SO many wonderful things about the holiday season with an almost-four-year-old!!

lots of good stuff

2011-11-17T13:22:00.000-05:00

Seems that I've run into a little good luck lately (nice change!)...and it's about time!

I recently won "A Train in Winter" from Goodreads.com --a WWII book...right up my alley, my absolute favorite era to read.

Just about a week before that I won 25 Christmas cards from Shutterfly from my friend, Lindsay's blog...and that saved me a good chunk of change. Woot!

I have entered quite a few blog "contests/giveaways" lately and actually won one of those as well...from Bella Blvd...I won the "Winter Wonderland" paper pack. Cute!!

And lastly, but having nothing to do with luck, in today's mail I received a letter from my employer stating that in January we will once again be exempt from paying our insurance premium. Wahoo!! It will be nice to have a little bit "extra" post-Christmas.

It's all I can do to NOT go play the lottery!!

Christmas Cards Ordered!!!

2011-11-12T21:35:00.001-05:00

So excited that I've already ordered our Christmas cards...WAY ahead of last year's schedule...a true miracle.

Also, GO TO SHUTTERFLY to order NOW...40% off cards (CARD40), Free shipping on orders over $30 and the cutest labels to match as well!!

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

www Wednesday

2011-11-09T08:09:00.001-05:00

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading?

• What did you recently finish reading?
• What do you think you’ll read next?

And so...here we go:

Currently reading: "Before Ever After" by Samantha Sotto...I am really enjoying this book so far and just need more time to sit down and devote to reading. My reading time has been lagging lately. Sad.

Just finished reading: "Next to Love" by Ellen Feldman was the last book I finished...yes, I was reading "The Last Letter from your Lover" but did not realize i had reached my 21 day window (e-book) from the library and when I went to read it the other day I received a message on my Nook saying my rental period had expired. Sad. So I'm back on the waiting list for it and hopefully it comes through soon so I can finish it....and not forget all that I've read.

What I'll read next: "The Night Circus" by Erin Morgenstern!!! I'm SOOOO excited to read this one too!! It's waiting for me right now at the library (e-book) so as soon as I can finish my current book, I'll be diving into this one!! Sure hope it lives up to the hype it's been getting.

Side Note: My favorite book this year so far remains "The Soldier's Wife" by Margaret Leroy!! Check it out if you enjoy WWII historical fiction.

WWW Wednesdays

2011-10-26T09:43:00.000-04:00

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you recently finish reading?
• What do you think you’ll read next?

I am currently reading: Next Love by Ellen Feldman

I recently finished reading: Maine by Courtney Sullivan....which was "ok" but did not live up to the "hype" that it has been getting...at least for me.

Next, I plan to read: The Last Letter from Your Lover by Jojo Moyes. This sounds sooo good...a mix of history and romance...what could be better?

scrappy goodness

2011-10-24T20:22:00.000-04:00

Just sharing a few things I've made recently.

I am loving Shimelle's current class as it is helping me use up scraps...these cards are proof!


A wild mix of of patterned papers...scrapping outside my box!!

Different from my normal scrappy style, but I'm loving how this one turned out.

Scrapaholic!

2011-10-19T19:36:00.001-04:00

I'm on a scrapbooking marathon these days...and so, I joined in on Shimelle's newest class. I absolutely love it as it has already (in only 3 days!!) given me some great ideas to use up my paper stash.

I've already busted out 3 layouts and 3 cards...while simultaneously staying up to date on my Learn Something New Every Day mini-book.

Now if there were only more hours in the day...

Sidenote (& some humor): My mom just (kindly) sent me an email with some health tips in it...the article she was (kindly) referencing was one on weight loss tips...apparently, in order to lose weight these days, in addition to eating right and exercising, it turns out that I need to get 8ish hours of sleep per night...yeah, that would so not work for me...I'd have to eat dinner, clean the kitchen & dishes and then climb directly into bed. Totally unrealistic. Destined to be fat forever. Yay me! Bwahahaha!!

time time time...see what's become of me.

2011-10-14T08:28:00.003-04:00

*I feel that all I've been doing for the past few weeks is talk about how I don't have time for anything these days.

*I hate that statement "I just don't have time"...really hate it. True or not. Ugh. Where does the time go?

*Recently, I've even had less time for reading...partially due to being so freakin' tired every night and going to sleep at 9pm (or earlier!) instead of staying up to 10:30ish reading like I used to.

*Apparently the 5:45am wake up is catching up with me.

*For the past two weeks, I've also only gone to the Y to run once each week. Pathetic.

*I'm sorta regretting signing up for the WDW Princess 1/2 next February because I know I'll have much LESS time to train than I did for the 2010 race. *sigh* Being the crazy competitor that I am, I know I'll be disappointed if I don't beat my time from 2010...but with the way my running routine is going, or shall I say NOT going, I'll be lucky to finish upright!!

*Some of the things I've noticed that have taken some of this time include: the start of the TV season...i.e. Grey's, Private Practice & House. They are really the ONLY shows I watch (or attempt to watch) on a regular basis. I DVR them but still finding the time to go back and watch them is equally challenging. Last night I pooped out at 9pm with Ethan and so I have both shows to watch...the perk of DVRing is being able to skip commercials and saving a little time that way. Yay. The other time-stealing activity lately - and this is NOT A COMPLAINT - is the lovely fact that my Detroit Tigers are still playing ball in October. Woot!! Finally I'm able to see them on TV, and yet, sadly, I've not been able to stay awake for all of the games (and some of them I've not wanted to be awake for). They head on back to TX for Game 6 on Saturday...I sure hope they can pull off this road win...otherwise it's O.V.E.R....but then, at least they beat the Yankees! Woot!!

*I've also been (trying to do) doing some scrapbooking - making some mini-books...particularly some December Daily books to sell in my Etsy shop. Please check them out, it's a great project to take part in and during such a wonderfully festive month.

*While I'm excited for some fun plans this weekend, I'm also realizing that those plans come at the cost of no relaxing "down time"...Friday nights have become my 'regular' day at the Y...so E and I will head up there at 5:30pm when "child watch" opens - he loves playing there--they have a train table!! Saturday we are headed to the mall & scrapbook store w/mom...she had rotator cuff surgery a few weeks ago so she can't drive right now. I desperately need to pick up some shirts for Ethan...he is smack-dab in the middle of sizes right now 3T-4T...3Ts are just a bit too small all over and the 4Ts he nearly drowning in...so of course I'm buying 4Ts but it drives me nuts that he sorta looks like a homeless child in his sloppy clothes. LOL!!

*You know I mentioned last week that we were robbed of our "fall break" this year...the kids got Fri and Mon off, teachers got NOTHING. Everyone is upset about it...we are (were) ALL ready for a break and we did not get it. Sure we got out at 1pm on Monday, but that doesn't make up for it. We will have NO time off until Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, the public schools were off yesterday and today for their Fall Break. Lovely!! As a result, Ethan has said he doesn't want to go to school every.single.morning this week which is VERY unlike him. When I pick him up, he says he had a great day at school, so I know he likes it there...not to mention he is a little sponge and learning A TON!! They are teaching them all the letters in sign language too. Pretty neat. So anyway, I am taking a Personal Day on Tuesday and cannot wait...E and I will stay home and be the laziest people on Earth that day (for those wondering, I can't take Monday off due to a crazy schedule & the nightmare of rescheduling).

*So that's life in a nutshell...a big nutshell apparently considering the length of this post. :)

30 lists in 30 days - chapter 3

2011-10-10T08:00:00.030-04:00

And finally, the last of my 30 days of lists project!! I really enjoyed this project and I love my chunky new mini-album!!

Just a few of my favorite things...

It would be really nice if some of these things *were* real!

The screened in patio remains a dream...

Good shows...miss them!!

As a Virgo, I can only avoid/ignore the housework for so long.

A dream come true!!

There is always a "to-do" list!

Not too many exciting things here...

Ohhh...to rule the world!!

September was at best "little bit" awesome.

It's the little things, people!!

my random thoughts

2011-10-07T19:21:00.001-04:00

*my primary random thought right now is about how disgusted I am that teachers/staff are not getting our 1 whole day of Fall Break this year...that's right, they took it away from us (Monday) and instead we will spend the day in Faculty Retreat...practicing praying FOUR different ways. And lunch isn't until 12:30pm...WTH? Way too late for lunch. Oh and I lacked to mention that Friday we have another retreat...but with people from other schools as well. Shoot.Me.Now.

*I currently have ZERO "fun" plans for the weekend, which means it will be sucked up by laundry and cleaning. I was going to attend an "intro to yoga" workshop on Saturday but after some unexpected medical expenses for the little guy this week, I decided to cut the yoga workshop. I've lost count of how many years I've been wanting to learn yoga...maybe by the time I'm 50 I'll have the chance.

*I've been feeling extremely short on time lately. More so than usual for some reason. I wishI never started scrapbooking because it takes too much time, but I love it too much to give it up entirely.

*I'm really struggling with the lack of "me-time" lately...trying to be strong and some days are better than others.

*I forgot to post this yesterday when I wrote it and at this moment I am enjoying playing Legos with my sweet E!!

Banned Book Week - Sep 24-Oct 1

2011-09-30T07:00:00.043-04:00

First of all, I can't believe I am going to admit this, but until this year I never knew Banned Books Week existed!! Did you? I find it rather interesting and as I was reading Book Journey, one of my regular book blogs recently, I noticed she was looking for a few people to participate in the weeks activities.

I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity and I chose to read a book from the Banned Book List and do a review of the book here on my blog.

The book I chose is Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. Also, before this year, I didn't realize this book was even on the Banned Book List.

It has also been a surprise to many that at the age of 40 (!!), this is the FIRST time I am reading this book. I somehow made it through school without having to read it and honestly, I'm thinking that I probably would have connected more with the book at a younger age than I did now.

I am rather obsessed with books which take place in WWII, primarily stories of the Holocaust, so I had really looked forward to reading this book, especially in honor of Banned Books Week. For some reason, however, I really struggled with this book. I had always heard such fantastic things about it and many of my wonderful Goodreads friends have given it 5 stars, so I was quite hopeful that I would feel the same. I did not.

I found a lot of it to be rather repetitive, but I suppose that is typical for a diary. Regardless of my lack of fondness for the book, I still think it should be a required read for educational purposes as it provides a unique perspective of this time in history.

Why was it banned?

This book was banned for passages that were considered "sexually offensive," as well as for the tragic nature of the book. Various reasons have been used to justify banning Anne Frank's acclaimed diary. In one 1983 incident, four members of the Alabama State Textbook Committee called for its removal because it was a "real downer." This claim earned the book a fifth place on ALA's Ten most farfetched reasons to ban a book."

The Washington Post published that Culpeper County public school officials have decided to stop assigning a version of Anne Frank's diary to 8th grade students after a parent complained that the book includes sexually explicit material and homosexual themes

To date, more than twenty-five million copies have been printed in fifty-five languages.

Thank you to Book Journey for this opportunity...I really enjoyed participating!!

30 lists in 30 days - part 2

2011-09-28T09:00:00.000-04:00

Here are the next few 'lists' I've made for my 30 lists in 30 days...and yep, I'm still a few days behind.

This was a great weekend - my girls day out to lunch & shopping.

I pretty much feel like this @ every moment.

I cannot wait to go to the pumpkin patch this year.

This list was a struggle...sometimes NOTHING motivates me!

I'm not a big procrastinator but when I am, these are the things that help me.

I'm a comfort dresser, for sure!

Might be trying Yoga for the FIRST time this Thursday....so excited!!

Wishful thinking/dreaming

Easiest list ever...hee!

Ethan - September 2011

2011-09-27T18:47:00.000-04:00

Ethan @ 3 years, 7 months & 19 days.

*His new favorite song is "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it is?" by Chicago...he's in love with the horns in a lot of the Chicago songs. I miss that band.

*Knows all his colors in Spanish!

*Eats great @ school and not-so-great @ home.

*Loves watching "Jake & the Neverland Pirates"

* Loves the library.

*Insists on reading at least 3 books every night.

*And I may have spoken too soon w/regards to the pooping...we ARE still a diaper/pull-up free household, but so far this week AT SCHOOL (where he NEVER used to poop), he has had one accident each day. Phooey!! Here's hoping Wednesday will be more successful!!

Milestone reached!!

2011-09-26T08:51:00.000-04:00

It's interesting how kids grow and change.

E has mastered #1 in the potty for quite some time now...I cannot remember the last accident he had. #2 though, has been a whole 'nother story!

Once upon a time, long, long, ago he pooped in the potty w/o a problem and we celebrated. Despite the positive experience, he later decided he would not use the potty for #2. Flat out refused. Since then, we have been using Pull Ups for #2 only. It was so ridiculous that he would go into his room, get the Pull Up himself and put it on. He would then let me know when he was ready to be cleaned up. Oh joy!!

Well, I am SO glad to say that those days are O.V.E.R.

On Friday, after getting home from school/work, E announced that he needed to do his business and I reminded him that we ran out of Pull Ups the day before and that he would have to go on the potty.

His response: "ok".......what? You mean after putting up a MAJOR fuss for many long months, he simply said "ok" and to the bathroom we went. I was so excited AND so was he! It was rather funny even. Oh and having the cute turtle guy on the flushable wipes container was an added bonus. I had purchased these wipes a while ago and told him we could not use them until he starting pooping in the potty. It's the little things, people!!

Now we have a handful of #2 potty visits under our belt and all is good in this diaper/pull-up free household!! Woohoo!!

I Want Wednesday

2011-09-14T12:46:00.000-04:00

I want: this book!! What fun to get "badges" for accomplishing things we've always wanted to do...who wouldn't love that? On top of that, the author was one of the victims of 9/11 and this book was finished by her husband and close friends. Cool!

I (still) want: one of these Fuji Instax cameras. I just know it would be the perfect addition to fun scrappy projects.

I want: this fantastic lamp for my desk. It would be perfect for my scrapbooking projects. Nice.Bright.Light.

I want: this awesome notepad! Because then I can leave a note for my husband every.single.day. LOL!!

getting crafty

2011-09-13T07:00:00.001-04:00

I've contemplated doing this for the past few years and I have decided that THIS is the year I will finally give it a go...albeit, a small "go"....

I'm going to make some December Daily albums for my Etsy shop...I'm tired of seeing a bunch of other gals make truckloads of money doing this and I know I am capable.

So far, I have completed 4 albums just with the stash of papers I already have on hand. I will pick up just a few sheets of holiday paper this week and make a few more. I'm really hoping for some positive results.

The books are 25 pages of various papers/cardstocks with raw chipboard covers and are 4x6 in size.

Here are a few sneak peaks:

30 lists...so far

2011-09-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

Yeah, that whole "I'm giving up on scrapbooking thing...well, it lasted a couple months, but that's about it"...I guess it's one of my addictions. Ha!!

I'm still a few days behind on my "30 lists in 30 days" deal...but here's what I have completed so far:

The Cover

Failing at many of these goals already.

The good stuff!

No comments from the peanut gallery please!!

Supposed to be a day of rest...rarely turns out that way though.

Oh how I wish this were possible...

Meh! Not crazy about this page...but oh well.

And the list could be much longer...

Oh to be a kid again...

september 11

2011-09-11T15:02:00.001-04:00

Ten years ago today I was living in Nogales, Arizona (AKA 'no mans land'). I was working for Motorola and getting ready for work when my phone rang. It was my supervisor telling me NOT to go to work. Our office was actually located in Nogales, MEXICO and I had been crossing the border everyday to get to/from work.

The time difference between AZ and NY had a significant impact on this day. If I had already crossed the border en route to work, I would have been stuck there for a few days, as the borders were shut down. Instead, I camped out on my futon (AKA my couch) and was glued to the TV watching in shock and horror.

As many have already said, it is a day we will never forget.

30 lists in 30 days

2011-09-06T09:32:00.001-04:00

I stumbled upon this neat little project 30 Lists in 30 Days on 8.31.11...so needless to say I'm already behind since being gone for the weekend.

It sounded fun and so I just had to sign up. Hoping to get caught up in the next couple days.

I am...

2011-09-05T21:11:00.001-04:00

Missing a special friend.

Dreading returning to work tomorrow.

Frustrated with new Spanish tutee (?) who keeps canceling sessions.

No longer looking forward to family road trips.

Happy we are getting tons of rain but it's making me a bit depressed as well.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

unsettled

2011-08-26T09:44:00.000-04:00

I guess that's how I feel so far this school year.

I feel more stressed out this year than last - odd, considering that last year was my 1st year as a school counselor AND I still had class one night each week and was freaking out over my comprehensive exam.

I find that most (all) of my work-related stress is coming from planning and presenting my guidance lessons for the middle school students.

I dread it.

Seriously. Totally. Dread it.

To the point that I don't know if I can do this again next year.

Which then puts more pressure on me considering that I carry the health benefits (which are fantastic) AND that E is in the wonderful preschool here, which is unbelievably better than where he was last year (and makes me feel like he was in a "dump" last year...which he wasn't, but there's just THAT much difference between them.)

And all that leaves me thinking that I will never ever ever find a career that is suitable for me. *sigh* Or that I'll just follow in my mom's footsteps working a career for 30 years just to pay bills and being completely miserable...oh yay...that's what it's looking like so far.

older

2011-08-23T15:29:00.000-04:00

I wish there was an actual video, alas there is not, but this is a great song.

Take a listen.

Besides the "been waiting for this day all my life" part...I can identify w/most of the lyrics today!

Ethan - 3.5 years old

2011-08-18T08:51:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure I've ever done one of this age updates for Ethan before...possibly 1 or 2...but I'm going to try to do them more often. I want to record all the neat things he does/says and the things he becomes obsessed with...which are often funny as well.

Ethan just turned 3.5 last Monday 08.08.11...holy moly, where does the time go?

1st day @ new preschool. 8.10.11
(note the awesome lunchbox!)

Favorite Toy: Legos. Mommy broke the 'age' rule and bought him the small legos a little early (I think they say age 5 on the box)...he only has a few, but he LOVES them. I mean REALLY LOVES them. He still plays with his Cars (from Disney) cars but Legos are in the #1 spot right now.

Favorite Song: "Teenage Dream"...yep...seriously!! Get this...we have the GLEE version, which Ethan calls the "guy version" as well as Katy's original version, called the "girl version" I am such a lucky girl that I get to hear both versions playing in my car a number of times each day. It's a sure thing on the drive to school every morning. It's a true miracle if I get to listen to anything I like anymore. :-/

Learning: the rules in his new school. "be safe, be neat, be kind"...I almost melted when he told me these rules. It was just WAY too cute.

Often Says: "whoopsy"...when he spills something. That is then followed by "it's alright"...obviously this is what I say when we spill something.

Funny: he doesn't 'get' the whole borrowing books from the library...he cried (hard!) when we returned some books a few weeks ago. Oddly though, he will say "we borrow books from the library but we BUY books at the bookstore"...so he verbalizes the difference, but that doesn't mean he likes it. LOL!!

just another fad?

2011-08-17T11:08:00.003-04:00

blogging...a fad? a trend? a dying one, whatever it is.

turns out next to NO ONE is blogging anymore.

and by NO ONE, I mean most of the friends I made THRU blogging.

kinda sad, but I get it. I'm sorta over it too. not much left to say.

back to work. not motivated. you know, more of the same.

just a year later.

Michigan

2011-08-07T22:41:00.001-04:00

I had a great time in Michigan.

It is "home" and it felt great to be there. So many memories.

It is bittersweet to be back in TN.

And it will be entirely bitter on Wed when I go back to work.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Michigan-bound...and so very excited!

2011-07-28T17:00:00.000-04:00

*3 days 'til mom, E and I depart for Michigan AKA home!!

*looking SO forward to seeing my bff, Laura. I cannot believe she has had 3 kiddos that I have never met. Also, she's never met E and he is her Godson.

*we are so excited to spend a day at a kids hands-on museum with her and her kiddos. Fun!

*E will take in his very first major league baseball game @ Comerica Park. Detroit Tigers vs. Texas Rangers.

*We will have breakfast with our old across-the-street neighbors...can't wait for that.

*On Saturday night, there is a meet up of a bunch of high school pals and I'm super duper excited about that since I missed my 20yr reunion.

*And the diet will be out the window on this trip as we indulge in some coney island hotdogs and some great middle eastern cuisine...grape leaves, hummus and baklava. Yum!!

I Want Wednesday...

2011-07-27T14:03:00.001-04:00

I Want: some decent workout shirts...and over the summer I have discovered the criteria that I need in a workout shirt....
(1) MUST be v-neck...those crew neck shirts make me feel like I'm choking when I'm running. I find myself constantly pulling on them.
(2) MUST be short-sleeve...I just can't handle sleeveless...my upper arms are SO gross and I'm embarrassed to expose them to anyone....despite the 30+ people at the gym who DO NOT care that THEIR upper arms are gross & flabby and wear sleeveless shirts. I'm strange I guess.
(3) MUST not be that ridiculous clingy material. I don't get it...WHY WHY WHY would I want a shirt to CLING to my fat rolls...I don't want anyone to see them which is THE reason I am at the gym in the first place.

After a visit to Dick's Sporting Goods today, with the intention of picking up 1-2 shirts...I found Under Armour Charged Cotton Vneck shirts...did I get one? NOPE!! Why? Because they had 3 colors and in every size but the one I need. Fail.

I Want: another pair of compression shorts. These will work.

I Want: this adorable baseball night light for Ethan's room....slowly starting the process of transforming his room to a "bigger-boy" room.

I Want: this super cute baseball switch plate!!

There are a few other awesome baseball items on my wishlist for E's room...hopefully we'll get them eventually. I'm dreading tearing down the safari animal wallpaper border...ugh.

2011-07-23T17:29:00.000-04:00

listening to: as always, Ethan's cartoons in the background. And the clothes dryer. And Ethan playing his plastic recorder/flute thingee.

thinking: about my dad and his current (very poor) health condition.

wishing: I never had to go back to work.

feeling: worn out.

wanting: a memorable 40th bday that will at least put a little 'happy' into the dreaded day.

reading: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (Hunger Games Book #2)

wearing: khaki shorts and pink t-shirt.

hoping: that these last couple weeks of summer go by very, very slowly.

enjoying: not having to get up at 5:30am for work every day.

needing: desperately some "me time"...like way worse than ever before...especially after this nightmare week...supposedly I'll be getting said time tomorrow...but whenever *that* promise is made, something comes along to change/ruin it.

weather: effin hot...especially if we're not at the pool.

wondering:how many MORE freakin' miles I have to run for that damn scale to go down!!

no mom-of-the-year award here...

2011-07-20T19:27:00.003-04:00

At least that is how I've been feeling lately...

There seems to be NOTHING I can do to get Ethan to listen or cooperate.

It seems that the word "listening" is in every other sentence I say these days.

Is this just being 3 1/2 years old?

I have a hard time believing that because to me it seems that my kid is the ONLY one acting out.

This is certainly the case w/swim lessons...he loves the pool, loves water, yet is being rebellious when it comes to his class. He won't stay in the pool w/his teacher and today he pitched a fit when I left the pool area so he could start his lesson (me leaving was our 'strategy' for getting him to cooperate)...he completed his lesson today, but not after causing a big scene.

I'm to the point where I don't want to take him ANYWHERE with me because of the fits he pitches.

At home, it's even a bit worse...when I (try to) put him in a timeout, he doesn't sit where I put him, even if it's a short time out. My child can be such a little booger and I don't know what to do.

I've taken away toys for bad behavior, but not sure what else I can do.

Thoughts running through my head: do I need to get the Strong Willed Child book?? are these ADD/ADHD behaviors I'm seeing (I know it's early for diagnosis)??

What have I done wrong?

a little bitter...or pissed off.

2011-07-17T21:19:00.000-04:00

I'm turning 40 in a few weeks.

I'm not happy about it...primarily because I am unsatisfied for "where" I am in life right now.

I feel terribly UNsuccessful...and it makes me miserable.

Anyway, I wanted something "big" or "special" for this birthday...it *is* sorta milestone-ish...

Things I mentioned wanting:

*Mac Desktop (fat chance!)

*2 night stay at Hotel Margaritaville in Pensacola

*Screened in patio (O actually said he was aiming for this one...but NOTHING has been done towards it)

What will actually take place on 8.23.11:

*Work from 7:30-3:45pm

*4pm home and then nothing...or maybe dinner out somewhere...you know, the same stupid boring thing we do every year. BFD. I'm NOT happy about it. I'd rather just stay home. Heck...O will likely be out of town anyway.

What really irks me most is that he has made NO effort to even try to reach ANY of these things or to even make the day REMOTELY special or unique for me. He never does. Stupid of me to think he would have this year, right? He likes to say we can't afford it...like the Margaritaville trip...but he did just fork over the same amount of cash to fly his 15yo daughter here for a week. I get that he wants to see her, but these are both things he's known about for a LONG time and yet does no planning for.

As for surprises...yeah, that's so NOT gonna happen...like the time when he bought me a softball bat for my birthday and then left the receipt IN my car...where I of course stumbled upon it PRIOR to my birthday. Yeah..thanks...nice try. It will be a true miracle if I even get a card...which honestly, I couldn't care less about at this point.

Don't get me wrong...I don't typically ask for much, really..it's very day-in, day-out around here, so I thought just once maybe we could do something fun and out of the ordinary. Apparently not.

It's really the lack of effort that is most upsetting...makes me feel unimportant and that I'm not worth it.

Wasted away again...

2011-07-16T17:37:00.000-04:00

the goings on...

2011-07-14T18:34:00.000-04:00

Here's what's happened since the last time I wrote:

*dad was admitted to the hospital. will be there at least 2 weeks. it's rather serious. :(

*E & I have spent 2 afternoons at the Y pool...which has been wonderful since it's only 2ft deep, he can play & I can read.

*i lost another 1.4lbs this week...somehow!

*started a new book "The Story of Beautiful Girl" by Rachel Simon, which I need to have done by 2:30pm Friday for my work book club...yikes...I still have 100+ pages to go.

*solidified some plans for when we are in Michigan.

*exciting 40th bday plans continue to be NON-existent...which well, pisses me off. the day will simply come and go as any other. FML.

*on the bright side, we are likely going to Charleston/Folly Beach for Labor Day...but that doesn't make up for no bday plans.

1/2 way mark & random thoughts

2011-07-11T08:35:00.001-04:00

Summer is half over...my summer BREAK that is. Major bummer indeed!

I suppose that explains the sense of dread hanging over me for the past few days.

Sure I went on vacation, to the beach, but it was far from a vacation for me. Not to sound ungrateful, but it was far from "a great time"...it was a lot of work, more than if I'd stayed home. 90% of the time, it was JUST me and E...no help for me at all. I kept wishing I was one of those rich people who takes babysitters on vacation. To date, I have not gotten a break for myself. Apparently the going rate for sitters these days is $10/hour (for ONE kid) !! WTH? I was paid $3/hour (for 3 kids!!)...that seems to be a career on the upswing.

I'm super excited about making a trip up to Michigan w/mom and E and taking E to his first Detroit Tiger game, but then I can't help but think that when we get back, I'll only have 2 more days of summer left. :(

My dad is still not doing well (at all). I wonder if it's the pessimist (realist) in me that seems to think this may be "it"..but my oldest step sister seems to think her "elder care" experience will magically cure him. She is staying with him for the next few weeks, so we'll see.

My summer "makeover" program is going way TOO slow for my liking. I've lost only 4lbs and my goal was 15. Yeah, like that will happen now. no. I've ran 61 miles since 5.27.11 which was my "official" start date. For me, I think that's a good number, it's way more than I would have ran w/o signing up at the Y...yet still with all that running, plus biking, elliptical and weights, there is hardly a change. The bright side...I think 'things' are moving around though as I was able to fit into a skirt that I hadn't been able to wear for past few years.

we are home

2011-07-05T21:11:00.001-04:00

mid-vacation post

2011-07-02T09:59:00.001-04:00

*this will be a bullet point update, they are my favorite.

*E and I are still on vacation, errr let me re-phrase that...E is still on vacation.

*this has been FAR from vacation for me

*A couple nights ago, E had probably what I would consider his most ginormous meltdown ever. in a public restaurant. me=mortified.

*I've had one 1 hour break from E all week & that was when I went on a 4 mile run in Edisto

*my dad is in quite poor health & i'm not sure why/how he even drove down for a few days.

*he never left the condo while here and ended up going home 1 day early.

*E & I are currently in O's hotel room, 45 minutes from the beach.

*Yesterday we drove to Charleston, SC to enjoy some "city-living"...you know, Barnes & Noble and ChickFila.

*We plan to check out Folly Beach today...looking forward to that. :)

*Tomorrow we head to Savannah, GA and I cannot wait!!

*Wish me luck that we get into The Lady & Sons Restaurant to eat - lunch or dinner, I don't care!!

*Is it bad that I'm planning to use some of my vaca money to get a babysitter when we get home...and a day for myself. Oh yeah...can't wait for that! I love E and besides his meltdown the other day, he's been fairly well behaved...I would just like to relax a bit.

currently

2011-06-17T13:09:00.000-04:00

listening to: "Max & Ruby" cartoons in the background...ack...on constant loop it seems.

thinking: about what E and I will do today.

wishing: I lived on the beach...ha!

feeling: fairly content.

wanting: to have less debt...much, much less debt...like my school loans would be good.

reading: "Saving CeeCee Honeycutt" by Beth Hoffman

wearing: 1/2 jammies and 1/2 workout clothes...waiting to get in the shower.

hoping: that the scale will start to go down...only lost .6lbs my first week on WW despite running my arse off. went to the gym 5/7 days last week!!

enjoying: morning workouts @ the YMCA & being home with Ethan.

needing: not much really. some "me-time" to read and chill would be nice, but it's not a "need" at this point.

weather: 85 and overcast. Not too bad really.

wondering:how many freakin' miles I have to run for that damn scale to go down!!

I really like these "currently" blog posts...I need to do them more often.

Tides turning?

2011-06-16T11:51:00.002-04:00

Could they be? The tides. Turning that is? For the better?

-paid off two credit cards yesterday.

-closed one entirely (only had as benefit in making one purchase)

-E had his dental cleaning today....and ::drumroll please:: NO cavities!!! I am overjoyed about this. His dental activities are such a stressor for me now since we got off to a "not-so-great" start.

-I have ran at least 3 days per week for the past 3 weeks! So happy about that. Hoping to see some weight loss too!! Weighing in at WW in about 15 minutes...

-O has more side jobs than he can manage at this point...partially due to being out of town all during the week.

-I'm hoping that things get turned around a bit over the summer so when work starts back up, life is calmer.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Scrapbooking Camp Experience

2011-06-08T19:26:00.002-04:00

-And by "experience" I mean MY experience...

-Overall it's been fun, however here are a few lessons learned (so far)...

-Girls take 1/3 the amount of time (if that) to complete a project than a grown woman (me) would.

-All 3 projects I planned FOR THE WEEK were done in 2 days by most of the girls.

-Girls like the look of writing with a black Sharpie marker IN their mini-albums, right ON TOP of bright patterned paper, as opposed to using the COORDINATING letter stickers provided in their kit. Who knew?

-Each girl needs to have at least TEN tape runners...holy macaroni, people...what's the deal...I told them to each have at least 3...SOOOO not enough!!

-I have lost count of the number of adhesive tape runners that have "broken" or "malfunctioned" so far this week.

-Glue sticks suck...even if they are just "back up" adhesive.

-Do I provide adhesive next year & work it into the cost? It would eliminate the 73 different types of tape runners in the room. :)

-I have added a 3x3 mini chipboard album to the projects for the week.

-I also added a "door hanger" (on chipboard) project.

-Most girls finished these last two projects today.

-A couple girls even did 2 cards today.

-Of course, these creations are not bound for the pages of any scrapbooking publications.

-I'm not terribly excited about Thursday/Friday.

-Someone suggested I take in my stamping stuff...I am pretty sure I will have to resort to that. Meh!

-I refuse to BUY anymore product...I already bought a pack of white cardstock for additional cards.

-Yesterday I went thru my ENTIRE stash and took in ALL the papers I have had for WAY TOO LONG and know I will not use.

-My mom is doing the same for me tonight and I will pick up her stash tomorrow morning before scrap camp.

-I have one girl who, shall I say, does not ~~seem to have any~~ excel in the 'social-skills' area and that seems to be with kids OR adults..so that's been (not so) fun. The second she is done w/something, she is pretty much attacking me asking what is next...doesn't matter that I'm busy helping 3 other girls either. *sigh* Practicing my "patience" skills. :)

-3 hours per day is about 1 hour too much.

-5 days per week is about 2 days too many.

-Friday we are having pizza so thankfully that will take up some of our scrapbooking time.

30 day photo challenge

2011-06-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

So far I'm 5/5 on the 30 day photo challenge ....truly a miracle. Check back on June 15 though...I'm bound to fall apart on this challenge at some point, at least that's what usually happens.

So here you go...my first 5 pics:

June 1 - Self Portrait

June 2 - Favorite Shoes...yeah, they may not be "pretty" but they are still my favorites!!

June 3 - Hands (cutest little hands I've ever seen!)

June 4 - Clouds

June 5- Today's Breakfast

Celebrating

2011-06-03T06:15:00.000-04:00

*my last day of work until August!!

*Ethan's last week of "school" next week.

*12 students in my scrapbook camp...grades 4-8!!

*my new found love affair with the YMCA and the elliptical machine they have!

*lots of beach time on the agenda this summer.

*that Ethan is at the perfect age to truly enjoy the beach!!

*only 23 days to our first beach day.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Call out for music

2011-06-02T07:41:00.001-04:00

I need a list of "appropriate" songs that middle schoolers are into right now.

I want to make a playlist to play at Scrapbook Camp next week!!

And ideally I will also be able to tolerate the songs they like.

Yep, I'm old!!

Thanks!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

rain on my parade

2011-05-31T10:19:00.001-04:00

*just as I was feeling quite good...positive & wow, even happy...it had to come to and end...right?

*it's actually been more of a trickle effect...

*in conversing with one of E's teachers, last week I learned that one of his classmates last day was this past Friday...the reason: her mother had a 2nd child (age: 6 months) and she is going to stay home with her kids now. Translation: daggar to my heart.

*today we are back at school (while the public school teachers ARE DONE...and paid more!)...we had a brief pow-wow meeting this morning and that's where I learned that one of our 7th grade teachers, who has a son just a bit younger than E....you guessed it....is quitting to STAY AT HOME WITH HER CHILD!

ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

*The reason this is SOOOOO upsetting is because I DO NOT HAVE THAT CHOICE!! I AM NOT WORKING BECAUSE I WANT TO....

*So while things may be better this coming year, with E being at the preschool where I work....it still translates into days NOT spent with him and well, that just plain sucks. There is NO way to sugar coat it.

addicted to minis

2011-05-26T10:00:00.000-04:00

I am crazy about mini-albums...so much so that I almost make more of them than I do regular layouts. Sometimes I make them with NO theme in mind, in fact, that happens a lot I should say.

Here's one I put together recently...filling this one with iPhone pictures.

And I just LOVE these My Mind's Eye papers!!

a day at the zoo

2011-05-25T20:25:00.002-04:00

We went to the zoo last Saturday. Good times as shown here. I cannot believe I took 50 pictures...and only one of zoo animals (elephant). Ha!

He really did WANT to take this picture, but you'd never know it from the look on his face.

This one cracks me up, it's like Ethan is telling on the goat for doing something wrong.

We were feeding the camel and it was hilarious!! I wish you could see E's face in this one (please excuse my fat rolls!)

This is one of my favorites from the day.

Echo Park Paper - Fresh Face Campaign

2011-05-25T19:44:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite scrapbook paper companies is Echo Park....they have some really great papers and here are a few projects I created with their papers.

This is the cover of the 6x6 mini album the girls will be making in scrapbook camp.

The first page in my 6x6 "all about me" mini for scrapbook camp.

A fun layout of Ethan using the "Little Boy" paper collection.

A fun little birthday card...great way to use up scraps.

I Want Wednesday...

2011-05-25T09:38:00.000-04:00

I want...

-a couple hours to check out a few of the antique/vintage stores in town, particularly this one.

-another hour to run errands quickly & effectively.

-another two hours for a really good workout (coming Friday!!).

-the school year to be over with already...come on!

fact!

2011-05-24T10:40:00.000-04:00

blech!

2011-05-23T12:10:00.001-04:00

picture courtesy of clipart.com

Sometimes seeing how easily "everything" works out for some people makes me want to puke.

Just saying.

And some cards...

2011-05-20T14:00:00.001-04:00

Before I really got into scrapbooking, I made cards. lots and lots of cards.

Now that I have a son, a job, a house & almost ZERO free time, I don't make cards...except when my aunt asks me to make here some "thank you" cards. I know she really likes them so I just can't say "no".

Here are a few I made for her recently.

Scraplifted design from K. Werner

Scrapbook on the Road

2011-05-19T20:00:00.003-04:00

Warning: heavy picture post!!

And here are the pictures of my Scrapbook on the Road mini-album...I don't "feel" done with it quite yet and will probably add a few more pages & embellishments, but this is what I've got so far.

You can click on the image to see them a bit bigger/clearer.

Now hopefully I'll remember to take it w/me on our trip and fill it up with good memories & memorabilia.

Muffin Pan Crayons

2011-05-18T23:18:00.001-04:00

As promised...here are some pictures of our crayon-creating adventure.

I'm certain that I was more excited about it than Ethan although he's pretty happy with his big 'ol bag 'o crayons right now.

My thumb is crazy sore from peeling all those darn papers off the crayons. I probably need a few days of recovery before doing that again.

We (I) made THREE pans of crayons....yep, it's sorta addicting.

Breaking crayons is fun!!

Unwrapping them is not so much fun!

I have no idea what he was saying here...

Big Cheesy Grin!

Finished Product - Batch #1 of 3.

Big Bag 'O Crayons!!

And after posting pics on FB, a friend of mine said she has a silicone heart shaped pan for making these....and yep, she's loaning to me...more crayon making in my future.

Sometimes it really IS the 'little things'.

things to do

2011-05-18T14:47:00.003-04:00

*make a new blog banner...you know, for the 3 people that visit here each month...ok yeah, so it's more for me...I need something new up there.

*peel the paper off of a TON of crayons...thanks to my super-creative friend Em, Ethan and I will be making "muffin pan crayons" tonight. Who knew that a perk to working in a school (& being friends w/the art teacher) is that she has a 4ft tall recycle bin of old crayons, of which I helped myself to a few handfuls. Crayon making fun is in store tonight!!

Side Note: it's been fun reading the names on the Crayola crayons...honestly, something I've not done for quite a while...my personal favorites: Purple Mountains Majesty & Outrageous Orange. We didn't have those colors "when I was a kid"...lol.

*take pictures of & post (here & on Flickr) the insides of my Scrapbook on the Road mini-album...created for our upcoming summer travels.

*take a picture & complete today's page in my "week of life lists" mini album. I did my page yesterday but didn't take a pic...why is that the hardest part?

*make (at least) a couple more pages for my sample "all about me" album for my scrapbook camp...honestly, with only 8 students enrolled as of this moment, putting together a big fat sample is not too high on my priority list.

*come up with/create/design one more page layout to be made at scrapbook camp.

*purchase paper kits & mini-albums for scrapbook camp.

*cut paper pieces for one of two layouts for scrapbook camp. I really debated about cutting the pieces for the girls to make their pages...I settled on having pre-cut pieces for first layout and letting them cut the pieces for the second. Hopefully this way we won't have as many errors since I do not plan to have a TON of extra paper on hand...a few maybe, not a lot. We are on a tight budget...hee!

*have a blast for next three days while it's just me and E.

Scrapbooking Marathon

2011-05-14T17:04:00.002-04:00

With the upcoming summer travels, I decided to look into Ali's Scrapbooking on the Road Mini Album...here is my cover and a few of the inside pages peeking out. I am using the 7 Gypsies 5.5x7" book covers and a bunch of random papers & goodies for the inside. I'm really trying to use up stuff I have on hand...must purge. :)

Then yesterday Kelly Purkey offered a cute little mini album class...so I had to get that one too...here is the cover to my album.

And then I made these layouts a couple of weeks ago...

This one is a scrap-lift from Kelly Purkey.

One of my most favorite days...May 2009 in Atlanta!!

Photo taken by the talented Dawn during our July (!!) 2010 visit to WDW.

I absolutely love these two paper lines...Jillibean Dutch Mustard and My Mind's Eye Fine & Dand y.

post by numbers

2011-05-13T14:21:00.000-04:00

I haven't done one of these in a while...so let's revisit it, shall we? (especially because I'm doing a lot of "counting-down" lately)

10 - days of school left w/kids.

14 - work days left...really 13.5 because our very last day will be short. yay!

14 - days 'til I sign up at the YMCA & begin my Summer workout routine.

4 - miles I will run at gym EVERY.SINGLE.DAY...hopefully increasing that number as Summer progresses.

19 - days E has left in daycare.

15 - pounds I hope to lose this Summer.

20 - pounds I would REALLY like to lose this Summer.

90ish - days O will be working in SC this Summer...beginning next Tuesday!

15 - least number of days I will spend on a beach this Summer.

18 - books read so far in 2011.

50 - books I plan to read this year.

42 - days to first beach vacation...with Dad.

475 - pages in current book I'm reading - Unbroken - amazing amazing book. I HIGHLY recommend it.

Summer Workout Plan

2011-05-08T22:04:00.002-04:00

*I plan to join the Y on Friday, May 27 as that is the last day of school for students and we have early dismissal.

*That means I can pack my gym bag in the morning & go straight from work to the Y and begin my longer runs! Hooray!

*If they are open on the following Monday, Memorial Day, I will go for another workout. Thankful for their child care.

*The next 4 days (May 31-June 3) are the last 4 days of work and I imagine we will likely get out a bit earlier than normal, again which will allow me to workout before picking up Ethan.

*The next week is my Scrap Camp and my mornings will be open so I will be there every morning after dropping off E for his very last week of school. Then I can run home, clean up and go run my scrapbook camp.

*I am so excited to be able to spend the entire Summer with Ethan since last year I had to work 3 days per week. In the Fall Ethan will be going to school where I work. Not only is it a "better" school, it will be more convenient and save me a bit of $$ because of the employee discount. I'm hoping this is the start of an "upswing" to things in my life getting better!!

*I cannot wait for May 27th to arrive so I can begin a more intense and regular workout schedule...and start to FEEL better.

*my goal is to return to work in August at least 15lbs less!!!! :)

Summer Tour 2011

2011-05-05T08:03:00.001-04:00

*Things sure can turn around quickly these days...

*Just when I thought I'd be working all summer to "get ahead"...O is asked to go to Hilton Head, SC to work for 90 days!!! This should start late May/early June.

*Oddly enough, E and I already have a vacation trip planned with my dad to Edisto Beach, SC - which is 2 hours from HH.

*Maybe this "Summer Tour" should be called the "South Carolina Tour 2011"...except I just now realized that Savannah, GA is only 50 minutes from HH...woot!! I have FOREVER wanted to go there and O is TOTALLY on-board with that because of the military presence and patriotism displayed in that community. Time to call Paula Deen's restaurant to see about getting a reservation.

*And then when I get totally sick of O...E and I will just drive back home and have some good 'ol "momma & ethan" time. Hooray!!

*Another bright note: so far there are 7 girls signed up for my scrapbook camp...with 1-2 more mentioning that they'll be signing up. Some additional advertising is taking place this weekend, so I'm hoping to get a "flood" (please!) of registrations. 15 would be good. 20 would make me ecstatic.

*And somewhere in there I am planning to join the YMCA (at least for the Summer) with plans to go EVERY.SINGLE.DAY and run at least 4 miles EVERY.TIME.I'M.THERE...they have childcare which means I can pull E from his daycare facility and spend ALL my days with him.

*Thankful for some good news and stuff to look forward to...of course, that is, if none of it falls through. Ack!!

Side Note: what is happening to the blogging world? A TON of my regular bloggie friends have fallen off the face of the earth...I guess it's not "the thing" to do anymore...even I have not been blogging as much as I once used to. :( Is Facebook killing the BlogWorld?

I Want Wednesday

2011-04-27T08:00:00.032-04:00

*A lifetime supply of these....so yummy!! Try 'em!! You'll like 'em!

*less debt.

*this peanut butter cupcake!! Yum!!

*drip pans...exciting I know, but this is a rather urgent necessity at this point, um considering that I was using the stove last week and one of them caught on FIRE because of so much CRUD on it...awful I know.

*And I'm still aching for an iMac...my desktop PC has officially DIED so I'm operating with my laptop only, which is NOT at all my preference, but is certainly going to have to do, considering the price of the iMac.

*THIS outdoor patio furniture...right now I have only 2 plastic adirondack chairs on my patio...E is forever wanting to play outside and well, I'd like something comfy to sit on. If I had this set, I'd make a point to eat outside too. It's always been my dream to have a cozy outdoor/backyard area. And BOO on Target for not letting me copy the picture to post here. Stupid website!!

*And I'd love this Solar Umbrella to go with the patio set...you know, since the umbrellas are NEVER included. *sigh*

*And some cute solar lights or string lights would also make for some great ambiance...

nose stuck in a book & a giveaway!!

2011-04-26T12:05:00.001-04:00

*that would be the most accurate description of me lately...so much so that until yesterday, I hadn't done a bit of scrapbooking in at least a month. figures...I get on a Design Team and then have no interest in scrapbooking. funny.

*anyway, just finished a book last night...it's called "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro

*It was an interesting book for certain and at times a bit odd...I guess they are making it into a movie too...I had no idea but I will definitely have to see it when it comes out. The story line has a bit of sci-fi in it for those who like that, but that is not the overlying theme. It's unlike anything I have ever read before.

*As you may know, I am a bit (or more) obsessed with historical fiction books, particularly taking place in and around the Holocaust & World War II time frame. I have read a bunch of them already, but there are so so many more to read...there is just not enough time in the day.

*If you are also interested in books of this genre, I wanted to let you know of a giveaway going on right now - find it here!! This blogger is giving away a copy of 22 Britannia Road by Amanda Hodgkinson. So go her site and find all the ways you can earn entries to win. Enjoy!

*I'm currently reading "The Scent of Rain & Lightning" by Nancy Pickard loaned out from my public library FREE to me for my Nook...I am loving my e-reader...not only do I read faster on it, I'm saving a TON of money on books by getting them from my library. I currently have 7 checked out (too many!) and another 6-8 on my waiting list. Crazy!!

Long Weekend!

2011-04-21T08:47:00.001-04:00

So after much debate about whether to take E to school on Friday or not, I've determined that I have to take him for AT LEAST part of the day, so we'll do a late drop off - around 11am and then pick up after nap time around 3-3:30pm.

At least we get to sleep in! Hooray for that!!

My plan for the rest of the day is as follows:

11am - Drop off E

11:20am - Back home to do 4 mile run on treadmill (!!!)

12:00pm - Shower & Dress

12:30pm - Head to Consignment Sale (& wait in line!) to pick up unsold items and my CHECK! Woot!

1:30pm - Much needed pedicure :)

2:30pm - Hang out at SBUX or other cafe/bookstore and read until time to pick up E.

3:30pm - Pick up my super duper cutie pie & go home to play in the backyard.

Sounds like a great day to me!!!

Right now we have ZERO plans for Saturday, well besides grocery shopping (blah!)...which I may just put off for another day anyway.

Sunday is 9am Mass followed by an Easter Egg Hunt - good times!!

Mom & I have discussed possibly doing the RIO movie with E on Sunday afternoon...we'll see how that works out.

And Monday I'm going to the local scrapbook store for about 5 hours to hopefully do my 3 required monthly layouts for the Design Team and maybe a few more...I have done ZERO scrapbooking for at least the past month...it's been replaced with reading...and the dead PC in the office/scrap area hasn't helped matters. I rarely even go in that room now.

fake it 'til ya' make it

2011-04-19T14:21:00.003-04:00

*so for me that means, "pretend to be happy as long as you can"...

*I am VERY happy about this 3.5 day work week followed by a 4 day weekend.

*I got the most challenging part of the week out of the way on Monday, so hoping for smooth sailing the rest of the week.

*we have been spending LOTS of time playing in the sandbox lately...

as well as wearing lots of new hats...this one purchased by grandma but picked out by E...he now says he's afraid of the "wolf" though.

*And I've been playing with that Hipstamatic app for taking the above pictures.

*And this one of my cutie-pie taken a couple of weeks ago when we had to get a little dressed up. *so handsome* I love that kiddo!!

*Not sure what we'll do on our day off Friday...I really want to take him to see RIO but not sure if I'm brave enough to go alone AND on Good Friday when potentially 8 billion other kids could be there. Not to mention the rest of the week looks like perfect movie-theater weather - nothing but clouds and rain. It would be only his 2nd movie in a theatre, with the 1st being TS3 last year...just makes me a bit nervous. So the jury is still out on that decision, but I really want to do something FUN for him vs just hanging out at home.

back to the real me

2011-04-16T14:02:00.001-04:00

Yeah, so I did my one 'positive' post requirement for the quarter...or year...we'll see. Back to the regular "my life sucks" me...here we go...consider yourself warned...and reminded that THIS IS MY OUTLET.

I pretty much hate my life...not to the point of wanting to end it or anything like that, but just cannot find much to feel happy about.

*I want to lose weight...desperately...I really really want this...I hate my body, I hate how I feel right now and I long for how I felt in 2006/early 2007 at such a good weight and lots of regular exercise. I am feeling like it's just absolutely impossible at this point. I don't run much because I am exhausted at the end of the work day, which is often 5pm or later even though I DO work in a school...I tutor after school 2-3 days a week for extra $$...because I HAVE to...because I AM AN IDIOT and married a LOSER. And making matters worse...EVERY.SINGLE.DAY at work I see all these doctor's wives dropping off their kids in their full Nike gear headed directly to the gym (or tennis court for the true snobs) to maintain their 'perfect-little-body' ...so again it all comes down to WHO you marry and I totally fucked that one up. I guess I deserve this...

*Even if I'm not exhausted, I often just DON'T want to run when I get home because that is MY time to spend with Ethan...it's bad enough that he's at daycare/preschool for 9-10 hours every.single.day. And when I say "my" time, that is really spent making dinner, cleaning up after dinner and getting ready for the next day of the same 'ol shit. I hate it.

*And then it's not just the lack of exercise...I'm an emotional eater and so in times like these, that means I'm eating just about everything in sight. Not good if one is trying to lose weight. I'm sorry but when there is nothing "happy" in my day...a few Oreo cookies make me feel a little happy...and sure it's temporary (as my mom quickly reminded me), but it's better than not at all.

*Then there's the whole drama with O and the psycho ex-wife...that crap continues and well, maybe I deserve this too since I did make the stupid decision to marry him, but I don't care, I'm still fuckin' mad. This is DIRECTLY impacting ME and I did everything "right"...you know - I didn't go off making kids when I was 17 and screwing around just having fun...I was a responsible individual going to school in the effort to make a good life for myself...which I was doing until (ironically) 2007 when my life went to Hell in a handbasket. So now O is out working side jobs just about every weekend if he has them, which means ZERO "alone-time" for me...you know, like going to a scrapbook crop or something...just not an option these days. And I do LOVE being at home with E and hanging out, but it would be nice to get out just once a month maybe.

*And last, but certainly not least...the 'rents situation...well, really mom and her husband....as I posted earlier. Then there's the situation which is closely connected which would be the constant reminder of what a loser I am...you know, compared to step-sister in CA and her 6 figure salary, countless houses, trip to Hawaii for her 40th (back in January), constant running races she does...marathons and more and more marathons...she is just fucking fantastic...especially in the eyes of those who place high value on having lots of money and being in beautiful shape. I am the exact polar opposite of her which ultimately means I am a complete piece of shit. And sure, she may not have any kids, but when spending time with your grandchild isn't really high on your priority list anyway (or your husband's), then it also doesn't matter that she doesn't have any kids.

*Oh and I've mentioned the whole comparison situation to my mom...who of course adamantly denies that I am thought to be such a loser...well, I may not be very successful, but I'm not an idiot...I know how I look from the outside.

Total Crap

2011-04-16T13:00:00.003-04:00

I think my mom's husbands goal in life is to keep my mom away from me as much as possible with exotic trips and other random bullshit.

They are currently in FL for an annual pig roast that HIS friend does, then when they return, he has some medical stuff next week so she likely will not be able to go to the movies with me and E...you know, cuz she will need to wait on him hand and foot!

Then she just posted that they are going somewhere in Europe in May for 2 weeks...she posted this on someone else's FB page but hasn't said anything to me about it. Gee thanks!!! Not like she has TEN kids to inform...I'm a fucking only child for shits sake! Thanks for letting me know....not that I can count on her for childcare or anything else for that matter.

Need I remind you that they spent the entire month of January in FL too.

I feel SO loved!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

the one where I try to write ONLY about positive things

2011-04-11T13:19:00.000-04:00

*yeah - let's see if I'll have any success at this post title...

*finished another couple of books recently...The Postmistress by Sarah Blake - I gave it 3/5 stars on Goodreads.com. I struggled w/this one...even being OBSESSED with the WWII era...it took me just about exactly 50 pages to figure out what was going on AND to decide if I would continue...thankfully it was just the 1st two chapters that were difficult. I hate giving up on a book. The other reason for 3 stars is that the ending was less than stellar. On to the next book...

*Now I'm reading Pictures of You by Caroline Leavitt and it is REALLY good and suspenseful so far. I hope to finish it in the next couple of days.

*I have yet to read a book I've PAID for on my Nook...the past 5-6 e-books have all been from the library which of course are FREE. Love that!! Hopefully in the long run this will help my pocketbook from suffering from my book addiction.

*on Saturday, I successfully dropped off a good chunk of baby clothes at the ginormous consignment sale that will take place next week. hoping i pick up a healthy check on Good Friday when it's over.

*there are only 33 days of school left. 38 workdays left for me.

*13 days to Easter...or when I can freely drink a Starbucks Iced Chai any 'ol day of the week.Yum!

*I just received a coupon for a FREE pound of chicken salad from EarthFare. (yep, I'm stretching to find anything positive I can) :)

*I plan to spend the entire day on April 25 scrapbooking...perk to working in a Catholic school...no school the day after Easter.

I Want Wednesday...

2011-04-06T07:00:00.007-04:00

*a newborn baby....yeah, that's not gonna happen.

*a great job offer...preferably located in FL or TX.

*my scrapbook camp to FILL to capacity. please.

*a fun & not-to-painful summer temp job if my scrapbook camp doesn't fill.

nostalgia

2011-04-03T19:27:00.000-04:00

*so my Facebook page as well as my real-life world is blowing up with newborn babies lately...

*as adorable as that may be...it is terribly depressing for me too...indeed E is super fun now at age 3, but I would do anything to go back to his newborn days...it was SOOOO very fun, even all the lack of sleep.

*It would also be nice to be able acquire more photos of that time...you see, I have next to ZERO pics of him IN the hospital or right after he was born. O and my mom flaked on that completely...I was suffering an anesthesia-like hangover and was kinda out of it for a while so I lacked to remind them. I also took the pediatrician literally when she said not to take E anywhere for 12 weeks (except to his peds appointments) because it was crazy-flu season...so I never took him for a newborn photo shoot...what the hell was I thinking?

*another reason that is depressing is that there will be no more babies born to this (old) girl. :(

*for the past few months just walking thru the baby department of stores is painful...I want to buy a bunch of little outfits etc. I miss that.

What's the point?

2011-03-30T23:13:00.001-04:00

So much for taking a mental health day at any point the rest of this school year...an I sure hope Ethan doesn't get sick again cuz I've got no one to help me out there either!!

Apparently I have used up all of my sick days and then some.

Today was payday and my check is $200+ short! Likely docked for the last couple days I was home with Ethan. No warning...yeah thanks for that!

Totally sucks! I did send an email to inquire but I'm pretty sure I know what the answer will be.

Totally defeats the purpose of tutoring during Spring Break, of trying to get ahead.

I'll never get ahead it seems.

It's always something.

I'm so tired of trying. Of working extra to not fall short all the time.

What is the point?

It feels as though the world is against me.

I'm so sick of looking around me everywhere and seeing carefree, happy people...not a worry in the world...having babies, happy marriages, new cars, all the money they need and then some.

So sick of it all. I feel like such a loser. I hate this life!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

mom failure

2011-03-30T12:00:00.002-04:00

*I have not been taking many pictures lately...that needs to change.

*I want to sign up E for tee-ball this Summer. Apparently I should have thought about this in January.

*The "main" city league is full...there are already 6 kids on the waitlist...why not start another team? Seems like an easy answer to me...more kids=more money for the city and avoids frustrated parents.

*Hoping to get him in a league in another city.

*I'm feeling like a bad mom because I missed the deadlines on this and I really want him signed up for SOMETHING.

* I was considering gymnastics but then heard all kids of negative things about The Little Gym as well as it costs a fortune.

*There is a privately owned gym in the next city over, it's a bit of a drive but I have a call into them to see when she holds the classes.

*I feel like such a mediocre mom at this point...what else am I messing up on? Surely there must be something...

*I guess maybe it's a good thing I'm not having any more kids...I'm not very good at it, so it seems.

*And then yesterday, my poor little guy took a fall at school during the day and scraped up his nose...here's a not-so-great picture of it...

a sad 2011...so far

2011-03-30T09:47:00.000-04:00

*I wonder when things will turn around this year?

*Not just for me...I'm talking very generally here...

*I mentioned our teacher passing away recently.

*Last night, a mother of a 3rd & 7th grader passed away. She was only 45.

*I lost a good family friend on Feb 4, 2011.

*Another teacher lost her father around the same time.

*My neighbor's friend is losing his mother to cancer.

*I'm really tired of hearing about people dying lately...it seems to be everywhere I turn.

randomness

2011-03-28T11:06:00.001-04:00

*Whenever a lot of days go by & I haven't updated, I struggle to come up with a post title and my 'go-to' title is "randomness"...so there you are.

*We got thru last week at work in one piece and oddly enough, I saw more students for issues NOT related to our teacher passing away than I did for those related to grief. Go figure.

*I am constantly reminded that I am old. What a depressing thought. I helped out with a fundraiser softball game on Friday serving as the (slow-pitch) pitcher...not a very physically demanding position, although my legs and gluts felt otherwise. Finally feeling "normal" today.

*TX school districts are undergoing major budget cuts and offering payouts to employees to avoid layoffs...looks like moving there this Summer may not work out too well. *sigh*

*In job-related news, I applied for 3-4 positions this morning..not counseling positions and not necessarily recruiting positions either. It's sad that a position that requires very little education is paying $10-15K more than what I am currently making. Makes me feel that getting my Masters degree was a HUGE waste of time and money. And maybe it actually was. Sucks!

*I've been trying to diet on my own but along with my aunt, who lives in TX...I was doing well the first 3-4 weeks but have hit a roadblock lately...lots of stress-eating and lack of running. Hoping today I get back to running but honestly, when I get home at 5:20pm, running is the LAST thing I want to do...but I will force myself once again. Totally hating this full time work crap.

*Vent: Over 1 week ago, O did a HUGE landscaping job for a friend of our neighbor, who is currently working in CA. This lady said she would put a check in the mail that day so we would have it by Saturday (the day O did the work). Check did not arrive. Neighbor said lady is good for the $$...so I'm not terribly worried about NOT getting paid, however 13 days days have gone by w/o payment and she is not responding to emails or text messages. She suggested meeting last Wed to give us a check and then never followed through w/setting up a time. WTF? Seriously. She is a professional and I don't get this...I'm more furious about the lack of response & professionalism, than the money even. Before the work was done, she was emailing me back every 5 minutes to coordinate...and now, nothing. Not cool. At all.

*I would do just about anything to have the rest of the day off to go sit in a cafe somewhere and just read. I'm so "over" this thing called work. Ugh.

*I am totally IN LOVE with my NookColor...I never thought I'd say that, but I really do love it...I think I read faster w/it too...we'll see if that changes over time...but if you also have a Nook, let me know so we can Lend books to one another...what a great feature!!! The only downside, I have about 15 REAL books waiting to be read & no interest in picking them up...must read them and reduce the clutter.

*Speaking of reading....last night I finished another great book... "Every Last One" by Anna Quindlen Considering I finished it in 3 days (which NEVER happens) it was very good.

grieving

2011-03-20T14:00:00.001-04:00

I've been a little MIA from the blog...just outta time the past few days.

Since Wednesday things have been somewhat chaotic.

I have been on Spring Break but very sadly one of our dear, dear teachers passed away on Wednesday morning...she was so very loved by our community and her passing was somewhat unexpected. She had been hospitalized for about 7-10 days but with the expectation she was getting better and would have a long recovery period. Sadly, things did not turn out that way. She was 60.

I am a FIRST year school counselor and well...so far I think I'm holding it together but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit anxious or stressed about the coming week. At times, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I've been told that I'll be doing small groups (9 students) with the entire 5th grade class (she taught all of them, as our 5th grade has 3 teachers). I've been doing a lot of research on-line and I've reached out to some fellow counselors, some have responded in help, others have flaked on me completely (what a disappointment!).

There was a wake on Friday night and her funeral was Saturday morning. I was a blubbering mess at both. Once the bagpipes began playing Amazing Grace I knew I was done for...that's a tear-trigger for me, as it was played @ my grandma's funeral as well. Then the entrance hymn was "On Eagles Wings"...an absolutely beautiful song and quite popular for funerals too.

Anyway, it's Sunday and we have a 4pm Faculty meeting to discuss/brainstorm how we will handle the coming week. The principal will be in the classroom with the students the first 2 days, possibly longer. We had already hired an interim teacher for the rest of the year as we knew she was not coming back.

So, I've prepped some handouts and such to share at today's meeting...we'll see how that goes. I have a headache now.

Hope your Sunday is better.

Loved it!!

2011-03-13T19:47:00.002-04:00

I finished reading "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage" today. As with any good book, I'm bummed out that I've finished it...it was just *that* good. The minute this one came out I knew I wanted to read it and I finally got around to it. I remember enjoying "Eat Pray Love", but not quite as much as I enjoyed reading this one. The main reason for this being that I pretty much agreed with a lot of what she said in this book. I also learned a WHOLE lot about marriage in general...some of which infuriated me and I wish I had known, say 5 years ago!

This was also my very first time reading an e-book (and I finally realized I would actually LOVE an e-reader AKA Nook). I downloaded it FREE from my public library to my iPhone...it was 1016 pages on my phone!!

The book spends most of the time on discussions about Gilbert's research into the history and sociology of marriage in Western society, which I found rather interesting.

I really appreciated Gilbert's honesty and curiosity about her fears, her expectations in relationships, and her resentment toward a society that often defines marriage in a way that enforces and imposes gender stereotypes.

I'd like to share some quotes with you from the book:

"Marriage becomes hard work once you have poured the entirety of your life’s expectations for happiness into the hands of one mere person. Keeping that going is hard work."

"Equally disquieting are the times when we do make a choice, only to later feel as though we have murdered some other aspect of our being by settling on one single concrete decision."

"I was a veritable Johnny Appleseed of grand expectations, and all I reaped for my trouble was a harvest of bitter fruit."

"Sometimes life is messy and botched. We do our best. We don't always know the right move."

"The only difference between the 1st and 2nd marriage is that in the 2nd you know you are gambling."

I gave it "5" stars. But that's just my opinion. :)

Rapid Decline

2011-03-12T14:59:00.001-05:00

The quality of my life over the past 4 years.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

trash

2011-03-11T20:47:00.002-05:00

*let me just start by saying this week has been amazingly disappointing & frustrating...or well, at least today anyway.

*in yesterday's mail O rec'd a lovely piece of paperwork from the ridiculously stupid State of AZ. This lovely piece of paper said he owes a buttload of $$$ in child support!?!?!?!

*let me just also say I WRITE THESE CHECKS (from his account) EVERY.SINGLE.EFFIN.FRIDAY and mail them so his stupid piece-of-complete-and-total-shit ex-wife gets her money...you know, she has to make those long road trips to prison to see her THIRD and current husband.

*there is NO WAY IN HELL he is behind in child support. it is ONE THING that he does well...he has always been financially responsible for his kids.

*so all night last night I had to hear all this boo-hooing about him potentially owing this money. worried before he knew it was fact. we had noticed the case number being ONE digit off from his actual case number, which was the first clue that this might be a mistake.

*he spoke with "trash" (ex-wife) last night where she reported not knowing ANYTHING about this (and I was born yesterday) but did admit that she put in a request that his payments come directly from his employer instead of from us. That made my blood boil.

*see, we know she rarely spends the money on her kids, but instead wastes it on herself...always has, but of course O still pays, he has to.

*and I forgot to mention that husband #2 provided her with yet ANOTHER child and oh yeah, she doesn't get ANY money from that loser. In fact, he was either deported back to Mexico or went back over there to avoid paying her...so in essence OUR household is paying for that kid too. Yay.

*now I have never really said a negative word about "trash" because honestly, she's never been rude or unkind to me. well, I apparently saved up all those negative words for yesterday and today. every.single.nasty.word. she is all of them. even that awful sounding "c"-word.

*on the phone last night, "trash" actually had the nerve to say to O "you don't know how much we struggle"....oh boy, when he told me that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. seriously, she has a home (bigger than ours) WITH A POOL (hello!!) and she has a vehicle...so let's talk about who's struggling. O doesn't even have an effin car (embarrassing I know) of his own, thank goodness for his work vehicle. and we certainly don't have a pool. I want to get on the phone and chew her out so badly, it's nearly eating me up. the freakin' nerve she has.

*oh and then there's the part where she wins SHIT MOTHER OF A LIFETIME...how about setting a POSITIVE example for your daughters so maybe the 18yo wouldn't have gotten knocked up at 17yo JUST LIKE YOU. idiot. maybe that's why are you "struggling"...quit making babies. buy some condoms. get on the pill. whatever. there are TONS of options. I'm just biding my time til the younger one makes the same mistake.

*and then there's the great example you set by marrying a dude who is ALREADY in prison. Seriously!! I thought that only happened on TV...clearly her self-confidence & self-respect levels are sky-rocketing. Who does that? How exactly does one 'meet' someone who is in prison? Do they have "singles" nights for prisoners now?

*hopefully you get the picture.

*O spoke with some fabulous State of AZ employees today and it was confirmed that there is some mix up because 'trash' moved the account from one county to another so everything he paid since being in TN was somehow not recorded...but she's been getting her money, so not sure how that works...clearly they have issues.

*besides all the frustration with 'trash'...this has brought back to the surface all my bazillion feelings of regret in marrying someone who already had kids...I always said I'd never do that and turns out that I caved completely. what a fucking idiot I am....and boy am I paying for it. with dollars and otherwise.

oh geesh

2011-03-10T21:05:00.000-05:00

Today I was plagued (once again) with thoughts such as "how did I make such a bad decision" and "how did I get myself into this mess" and several other thoughts of a similar nature.

I hate when this happens.

I Want Wednesday

2011-03-09T07:00:00.023-05:00

I want: the NookColor. I am finally jumping on the bandwagon with e-readers and letting go of my obsession to have a "real book"...what pushed me over the edge was the ability to download FREE books from my local library to any of these reading devices. I just downloaded one to my iPhone and am loving it. I've never been one to frequent the library, despite the huge economical advantage of doing so, I guess it's the idea of not knowing where the book was previously or something..I dunno. But now with e-books...I don't have to go anywhere and can have a book in mere seconds. Oh yes, I want this!! Also, with the NookColor you can receive your magazine subscriptions on it...being Green is great!! So while I want it TODAY...I have put the plug in for my 40th birthday being just around the corner...let's see if O can pull himself together enough to get this for me. Ha!

I want: an iMac!! Yep, I'm pretty sure I'll be going over to the "dark" side with my next computer purchase. I've heard raving things about iPhoto and well, I think it's about time to give something else a try...my PCs have failed me over and over again w/this last HP taking the cake for being the biggest piece o' junk ever. Of course, the iMacs cost an arm and a leg, so who knows when I'll be actually able to purchase it...unless my scrapbook camp is a huge success...and well, right now it's the polar opposite of that.

I want: this super cute hot pink "K" to add to my collection!

I want: this awesome negative scanner....it puts the images directly onto a memory card! Soooo awesome!!

I want: a full day to myself to scrapbook.

I want: a better paying job.

I want: to move to FL or TX.

Achoo!

2011-03-08T18:19:00.000-05:00

I'm so over this whole being sick thing...sure being out of work is nice, but not when you can't really enjoy the time...E and I stayed home both today and Monday.

I ended up being diagnosed with Strep Throat although my throat never really hurt all that much. Besides the NP at Walgreen's being unfriendly, maybe she wasn't all that smart...I dunno. Anyway, I got an antibiotic out of the 2 hour ordeal, so I guess I won't complain anymore.

Now that I'm no longer contagious (!?) and the fact that I have ZERO sick days left, I'm feeling like I really HAVE to go to work on Wednesday although I'm not 100% at all.

Ethan is doing much better than me, displaying nearly ZERO symptoms of a cold, which is what the Ped NP said he had. Thank you daycare. Ugh!

And as my luck would have it, last week I registered for a 5K this Saturday and have not been able to run since Friday...that will likely be a disaster. I was doing so well w/my routine too. Figures!

and yet another cold

2011-03-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

Seriously, this has been the roughest winter for getting sick that I can remember...we have been to the Pediatrician 3 times in the past six weeks, although the 2nd visit was E's 3-Year check up. E was sick 2 weeks prior and now again, 2 weeks later.

I really want to blame his school/daycare...I mean students @ my school aren't slobbering or sneezing on me, so I doubt that I'm bringing it home. We've both had the flu shot - thank goodness, otherwise I'm sure things would have been so much worse.

Friday I left work early, took him to the pediatrician where we were told he has "a cold"..no name for it this time. Ears looked good....just a vicious cough that the over the counter stuff was not helping at all. Now two days and 4-5 doses later...not much of a change.

Then this morning (Sunday) he kept saying his ear hurt. He has never had an ear infection (I am thankful!)...so it freaked me out a bit. He was so hard to console and he's normally quite a trooper when he's sick, so I called the Peds emergency number. She called in an antibiotic for him so here we go again. I'm not sure if he has an infection and maybe we jumped the gun as he has not said it's hurt since this morning so maybe it was just pressure from having a head cold.

To add excitement to all of this...he has passed his symptoms to me. Oh joy. I have a scratchy throat, some coughing (tho not as much as him) and congestion on HALF of my nose (that is SO annoying).

So I have just taken some Zicam and Mucinex to fight this off...I'm running out of sick days, if they aren't already gone...this will make for an interesting remainder of the school year.

some things never change

2011-03-04T21:24:00.001-05:00

Tonight I was stupid enough to let O "talk me into" swinging by the house to pick up he and E en route to the mall (so O could eat @ the food court) where I was planning to make a simple return & do a little browsing - ALONE - because I NEVER get to do that.

What a flippin' huge a$$ mistake!! I should have lied & said I was already at the mall...damn!

E is 3 years old...which pretty much translates to an enhanced version of the "terrible twos"...combine that with the mall and O's ridiculously short temper and that equals MEGA stressed out visit to the mall for me. Not to mention being completely furious w/my a-hole, stupid, piece of shit, immature husband. Apparently, in O's eyes, E should be acting like an adult at the mall---what a flippin' idiot.

I asked him if he was as mean to his girls as he is to E when E is fussing @ the mall (or elsewhere)...O said "yes"...which who knows if it's true, but I DO know that when his girls were E's age, they had a 'nanny' and O wasn't around much. Oh how I wish I could have known he'd be such a piece of shit dad before I married this fucker. Yes, I am definitely writing a post out of pure emotions. I am feeling SOOOOO very hateful right now...if I had the means to go out on my own (with E!) I would have told O to take a long walk off a VERY VERY short pier tonight - only my version of that statement would have been MUCH uglier!!

I wish that I would have had the courage to leave that piece of shit at the altar...too bad I am gutless...and I'm not wishing E away...it's VERY possible I was PG on my wedding day...not sure, but very well could be. I wonder if there is one of those "go backwards" from your due date to figure out the conception date...then I'd have a better idea...but E WAS born 9 months and 1 week after our wedding...so who knows!! And how TOTALLY AWESOME would it have been to NOT have O's stupid name on the birth certificate AND never tell him that I had E...a glorious life it would have been....and yes I'm being selfish, but I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that E would be ONLY better off w/o O in his life...for so so SO many reasons.

It's days/situations like this that infuriate and frustrate me beyond the point of any consolation. There is NO quick fix for this. I am stuck w/this shithead until I get a new job (i.e. w/higher salary). Then when I do kick him to the curb, I have to deal with custody for the remaining 14ish years. That will likely be quite ugly since I plan to air ALL his dirty laundry so he gets VERY little (or no) custody.

It's also days like this when I wish God did NOT give us Free Will so that I wouldn't have been so entirely stupid to have FINALLY make the decision to marry O which has ultimately made me the most miserable I have ever EVER been. It is SO pathetic that we cannot take a simple trip to the mall, which is less than 10 minutes away, w/o getting annoyed or angry with one another...or really that he cannot act like an adult & understanding parent.

As hard as I try, I just don't see myself being truly happy until I am no longer living in the same house with this asshole.

Disclaimer: I am refraining from venting to my mother anymore (or at least for a while) hence the reason for VOMITING all my (unedited) feelings here.

random

2011-03-02T08:58:00.002-05:00

*I felt so crummy/miserable on Sunday knowing I was missing out on the WDW Princess 1/2 marathon that I am determined to sign up for the 2012 race. I cannot wait 'til registration opens!! I'll only live once and I'm tired of waiting for "things to get better" so that I can take part in more fun and enjoyable activities. I will find a way to get there next year!!

*As I stated in my last post, E and I are not going to FL for Spring Break after all, so I've been working on my plans for that week. Right now it looks like I'll send E to school only 2 days (and then I only have to pay 1/2 price-yay!) and on one of those days I will enjoy a pedicure w/mom (we bought them thru one of those on-line 1/2 off deals-yay!) and on the other day I will immensely enjoy a full day of scrapbooking at the scrap store.

*On the 3 days he will be home with me, we will go to the Kids Museum in Chattanooga one of the days and I may look into a visit to the Little Gym on another day...I am feeling bad that my child is not enrolled in any sort of weekly activity...i.e. swim lessons, etc. I know Little Gym is ridiculously expensive so that's been my hesitation, but I have a coupon for a free visit, so I think we'll do that & see what it's all about and if he even likes it.

*I was hoping for a day trip down to ATL but that doesn't look like it's going to pan out (either!). Phooey!

*Yesterday I obtained a tutoring gig for the week of Spring Break. One of our 8th grade students who is failing FOUR classes...that should be fun! Ack! All tutoring funds are being put into my 2012 WDW Princess 1/2 Marathon registration fund. :)

*We have had SO many short school weeks so far in 2012...but it looks like that has finally come to an end. This week is a full 5 day work week as is the following week - with no snow in sight...we'll have no break until March 14 which is our Spring Break...and I am counting the days. It's been a difficult adjustment from my 3 day work week of the past 2ish years to working 5 days/week. I have NO time for ANYTHING & I hate it. Seriously, I do not remember my 5 day work weeks being so overwhelming and "time-sucking" <---is that a word? I guess some of that reason would be I was working from home for a while which made it easier to stay caught up with laundry and such, plus I was still on my own at that time...so I generally had more time. This 5 day work week PLUS mom-duties stuff is for the freakin' birds. Geesh!

*And then to make matters worse, I have an annual counseling conference this Saturday that I have to attend. It's ALL DAY LONG...ugh. I hate losing 1/2 of my weekend. hate it.

*Last thing...one more week until Lent starts...eeks...I have decided to ENTIRELY give up Starbucks (Iced Chai is my 'drug of choice') for the 40 days. I've been trying to "practice" going w/o my Chais...so far my longest stretch is 9 days. This last weekend was rough as I had one on Sat/Sun AND Monday!! Bad! The more difficult part will be just NOT going there to sit and read...I could veg there forever...but I feel like the temptation may be too much. So I may have to overload on Chai for the next week (not really) in order to prepare myself for the 40 days of Lent. The upside...my budget will be SO much happier w/o Starbucks!!

Stuck

2011-02-25T15:20:00.004-05:00

Stuck.

I really don't like feeling so down, sad, depressed all the time. I really don't.

I wish I could find even one simple thing to make me feel happy.

Before you start, YES, E makes me happy, don't get me wrong, but I'm talking about other facets of life.

I guess I mean "hopeful"...I wish I could feel hopeful.

And actually I was feeling hopeful for the past few days, but had that all stripped from me yesterday.

I wish I had something else to be hopeful about. It's certainly NOT the future. Not right now.

In related crappy news, I only have 1 child signed up for my Scrapbooking Camp.

Sure, it's early, but I also know that a lot of people have summer stuff lined up already, so it's really not THAT early.

I've been hopeful my camps would fill up...and I'm already bracing myself for the letdown.

What if no one else signs up and I have to cancel the whole thing?

Then there's the part where I am an emotional eater.

Not good when times suck like they do right now.

Ironically, I've lost 4lbs this week only because I promised my aunt we would do a "long-distance diet" together beginning last Sunday.

Tangent: My whole "deal" with Starbucks...pure emotions...I only want an Iced Chai because it somehow makes me "happy" and/or "brightens my day" (except when it's not made well & I've driven off already)....I don't need or want the caffeine.

While I failed at quitting SBUX altogether, I did go 9 days w/o going there (huge!!), then had a few the following week. I last had one on Wednesday but I DO plan to give them up completely for Lent...so I'm calling this "practice"

Adding to all this dreariness...the Disney Princess 1/2 marathon is this weekend. Even if I do "hate" running, I wish MORE THAN ANYTHING that I was there right now. My two friends that I met there last year are there again this year. All I can remember was how great I felt the moment I finished the race and the entire afternoon afterward. What a rush. I want that feeling again.

Instead I'm off to another terribly boring weekend, doing nothing fun or exciting.

fed up

2011-02-24T18:21:00.000-05:00

Warning: this is one of those bitchy whiny posts, so if you don't want to "hear about it" then turn back now while you still can.

I need to vent somewhere because I've complained a lot to my mom lately, which I normally try not to do, because (1) she really doesn't need to hear it and (2) she ~~never~~ doesn't always provide the most helpful responses.

I'm really tired of everything.

Tired of nothing "going my way"

I can't seem to EVER get a break.

Sometimes I feel like I'll be stuck in a very unsatisfying and low paying job for the rest of my life despite all my efforts to find something better.

I want to be able to provide for E and I on my own. I miss my independence.

I hate most pieces of my current life.

Lately nearly every day there is some sort of bad or disappointing news that comes my way.

I'm so sick of it.

One day I'm feeling like things are turning around i.e. E and I were planning to go to FL for Spring Break.

The next day, all plans are off - thanks to all that Middle East crap and gas prices now being .20 higher than they were here on Saturday. I cannot justify driving 1300 miles round trip with gas prices that high. Stupid. Especially on my embarrassingly tight budget.

I'm hoping to at least go to Atlanta, but that's up in the air as well.

I'm also job hunting and it's been one closed door after another....in places where I have connections. WTF? I applied to a school district in TX where my aunt knows a lady way up high and turns out they are restructuring and she may end up w/o a job....so there's certainly NO hope for me.

I had another door feeling slightly open the other day only to have it virtually slammed on me today with 20% chance of it ever opening.

I cannot help but feel like a failure...in just about every aspect of my life...no actually...IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE. It seems like happiness is so far out of my reach that I will never ever get there...and I'm getting really tired of trying. Nothing is working.

And I don't want any pills to cover up all my crap feelings. They fix nothing.

plan & unplan

2011-02-23T18:56:00.000-05:00

That has been the story around here recently...

I had been wanting/hoping to go to FL over my Spring Break, primarily to see Mike's wife AND to just getaway...just me and E. Good Times.

So just a few days ago it looked like it was a "go"....then Libya and all that drama started & gas prices started going up.

Prices are already over $3.10 in mid-Florida and I can only imagine that over the next 3 weeks they will continue to rise.

So today I have pretty much come to the realization that E and I will NOT be going to FL for Spring Break after all.

And that sucks!

I'm so freakin' sick of being STUCK here w/no plans and no ~~money~~ ability to make any. It's the pits.

Sure, we'll probably finally get to the awesome children's museum in Chattanooga w/my mom, but that's one day...what to do with the other 4?!?! *sigh*

I'm entertaining the idea of a one-night trip to Atlanta, but not sure I could make that work...we'll see.

So now I have to hope that gas prices eventually come back down and they have until June when school gets out to do that...hopefully then E and I could head to FL.

FML

2011-02-17T21:18:00.001-05:00

Why this week qualifies as a FML - week...

*Monday - Ethan had his teeth "procedure" done...it was a nightmare of a day.

*I had Kindergarten Screening duty all day Tues-Wed-Thurs...it wasn't awful, but it was terribly repetitive (giving same test to 52 incoming kindergarten kiddos) and boring. I am also behind on other regular work duties.

*Spent a big portion of my tax refund getting new front brakes & pads.

*E peed his pants 3 minutes after I finished dressing him this morning. It's so frustrating considering that I just asked him if he needed to go to the potty. This then makes me have to rush & potentially be late for work.

*No sooner did mom & I make the decision to take E to the kids museum on Friday did she start having cold symptoms!! Seriously! She is still not better so we will do NOTHING on Friday.

*Have a 4 day weekend and no effin money to do anything fun...this makes me terribly irate and I'm having a hard time accepting this one. Totally pathetic life. Four freakin' boring ass days stuck at home.

*In such a crummy mood that I have NO desire (or mojo) to scrapbook! WTF?

I wonder...

2011-02-15T07:37:00.001-05:00

I wonder if I'll ever:

*not feel like a failure.

*be financially independent.

*be happy.

It feels like an impossibility and I'm doubting it very much today!!!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone